Whirling Words: Random Ramble Wednesday

No this is not going to be thing. I will not be opening up my computer every Wednesday to spill my heart out into the world-wide web. But, I have a thing for cutesy, catchy titles that deem a certain regularity. So, while this might not become an only Wednesday thing, this might be a regular thing, because well.. I’ve got stuff on my mind. Stuff that doesn’t really have anything to do with Manicures or Concealers, Battements or Twists, but it does involve the other part of me that I have been starting to include more and more on this blog…

Somehow, after following oodles of healthy lifestyle blogs I realised that I had an extreme interest in what they were writing, how they were living and what their meals looked like. That’s just kind of what I am in to… I can’t explain this weird interest – it definitely has to do with how I grew up, having a health-conscious (nutritionist) mom, and my own developed interest in nutrition (I got my best ever Biology grade on a test about nutrition… I knew everything by heart because I actually wanted to!). And also, I’m just going to put this out there, women like to compare themselves to others… so if I’m already checking out other blogs and getting inspired, I thought it would be nice to offer the same for others to read 🙂

I was always told to write what I would read, and since I find myself clicking through these “non-make-up-blogs” more frequently, I’m now trying to adjust my blog in a way that I can develop it (and myself) into what I want it to be…I already started this journey with my nutrition post or this one from last week.

So long story short, I want to be able to share some of my thoughts on here and see if anyone reading what I put out in the world has had similar thoughts/experiences/opinions and would like to share. I am always really inspired by the support I see on other blogs and hope that mine could be one too someday…and no this will not become an online journal..the main topics will still be manicures, dance and snacks 😉

So, on that note, let’s dive in…

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I’m spending most of my time and money on travelling back and forth from Zürich to Munich. Somehow, the fear of being forgotten and left out is strong when you are only a short (4.5 h) train ride away… I didn’t have this fear when  I got up and left for New York, because I wasn’t afraid of losing what I had… I was always a social butterfly and was constantly surrounded by “close” friends – only, when I moved and didn’t have time to see everyone (and constantly be the first to strike up a conversation), I soon noticed who really did care. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now, leaving Zürich yet again, I notice a slight unsettled feeling inside… what if the friends who were left standing last time, will slowly drift away as well?

Those were my thoughts at first.. but then I had this beautiful talk with a dear friend whom I only see once every so often. He mentioned to me, that yes, while some might have shown their true character, I have also shown mine, which is: I can never truly abandon Zürich. The friends I have, I never want to, and never will, lose because I won’t let that happen (even those who didn’t care to contact me while I was in New York.. I somehow still care and keep in touch, but that’s another problem for another story). I realised living only a train ride away means I can go back whenever I want, and I never seem to pass up a chance to go home, see my friends, my parents, my dog, eat my favourite food and go to my favourite dance classes… but alas, while I love to go home, I feel I’m not offering Munich enough of my time.

Now I will attempt to spend a full weekend here. I didn’t really feel staying here was necessary before because my life is in Zürich, but since I will be living here for a while longer why not try to “live” here a little bit more? I noticed I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to discover the city I was currently living in AND to maintain life back home which lead to disastrous melt-downs every weekend where I did not want to go back to work… now, after my chat, I feel more comfortable trying to give Munich a chance while knowing Zürich will always remain in my heart, will always be my number one home and will never forget me because I would never let it, no matter where in the world life might take me…. I will always be that annoying person checking up on life in Zürich, asking my dearest and nearest family and friends what they are up to, even if all they have to tell me is that the milk at Starbucks is less frothy than usual… every little bit somehow keeps me connected and reassures me that I can try to let go a little and be more independent and thus less clingy. Because that is what I was being – clingy. I was clinging on to Zürich before I realised it won’t be going anywhere, out of fear of the “New York” thing happening all over again. But no – it won’t, it can’t, especially since I don’t want it to and could hop on a train whenever and go home…

There apparently are people who can just get up and leave and not care about the life they built in their previous hometown, but I most definitely am not that kind of person, and realizing this finally removed a lot of unnecessary stress from my life! Also I noticed that yes, currently I am living in Munich, but I won’t be here for very long. I might return every so often, but will still spend a vast chunk of my life in Zürich, which relinquishes more stress and pressure to get to know Munich as well as my hometown because I am not really building a life here at the moment…

So, there you have it, my first rant… now it’s your turn:

Have you moved to a new city? How did you deal with that?

With attitude and nail polish, Anoushé xoxo

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